One of my favourite advent songs is “O Come, O Come Emmanuel.”   The advent season is a wonderful time to anticipate the birth of our Saviour, whose name “Emmanuel” means “God is with us.”

What an extravagant sacrifice God made in sending His Son into a world that would ignore, mock, and ultimately kill Him.  People today are not so different from those who lived two thousand years ago.    In many ways Jesus continues to be openly ridiculed or rejected or overlooked in favour of an overweight man dressed up in a red suit.  Just open a newspaper or listen to a radio broadcast or eavesdrop on a conversation at the mall.  And yet, even though God knew that Jesus would not be welcomed by the very ones He had created, the Father still sent His Son as a helpless infant, in an effort to draw a lost world to Himself.  What an amazing gift!

God is with us.  For thirty some years as a human being, walking on the face of our planet.  And forever after  through the gift of the Holy Spirit.  He is with us.

Sometimes He whispers an idea into our hearts.  Sometimes He brings a person to mind, prompting us to pray.  Sometimes we hear His voice in a song of praise or in a verse of Scripture or in the pastor’s message.

God is with us.  I am not left to handle the details of my life unassisted.  He is not a magical genie who will answer my every request, but He is faithful to walk beside me through each circumstance of my life.

God is with me.  I have felt His presence in a new way this fall and winter as I’ve gone with a team of volunteers to sing with core neighbourhood children who do not have access to any music program.  We meet on Tuesdays at noon with an enthusiastic group of kids, singing silly songs as well as songs with meaningful lyrics, eager to communicate hope and value to children whose lives we would not otherwise be able to touch.  Some of these children struggle with learning issues.  Some of them come to school hungry.  Some of them face daunting challenges in their home environments.  All of them need to be touched by the presence of Christ in their lives.   Tuesday noon hours have become an anticipated highlight of my week as I look forward to singing with these small ones who are precious to me and to God.  Please pray for Jessica (who keeps us organized) and for Darrell and Shaelynne (the most amazing accompanists ever!) and for me as we seek to make Christ visible to the choir children.

A couple of weeks ago, when I brought a small treat for the kids, one of the girls suggested that I should bring a “big treat” to our last practice before Christmas.  I asked her what would be a “big treat” and braced myself for her reply.  Imagine my surprise when she asked for a banana.  I have a hard time imagining a life where a banana could be a big treat, and I am humbled to have the weekly opportunity to touch these kids’ lives in ways that will hopefully communicate love and value and hope for their future.  It feels like too much to hope for, but God is faithful and I am so glad He whispered this idea into my heart.

God is with us.  What more could I ask for?  This week I’m pretty sure I saw His pleasure in the eyes of a child who smiled at me as I handed her a banana.

I have heard two stories in the last week that encouraged me greatly.

The first one was of a friend of mine who was driving with her six year old.  Her daughter was talking about how badly she wanted a barbie for Christmas and how sad it would be if she didn’t get a barbie.  So her mom said to her ‘but what should we really be thinking about this Christmas?’ Her daughter got quiet… and said ‘ya mom, but I REALLY want a barbie.’  Her mom didn’t let up and the conversation went back and forth this way for awhile.  Eventually her daughter flat out admitted ‘I know that we celebrate Jesus’ birthday at Christmas and we should think about that but I don’t want to think about that right now, I just want a barbie!’  You have to give her credit for her honesty.

The other story was my own 4 year old nephew.  He was told as they were cleaning up toys before bed that he will have to give some toys away because he will probably get new ones for Christmas.  However, he didn’t really like this idea.  He said very firmly that he was not giving away any of his toys because he wanted to keep them all!  He liked all his toys!  He was then told that this was really not his decision, that he is very blessed to be given toys and so he can give toys to other children to make them happy too.  It still wasn’t a popular idea but there was ‘no further discussion’ about it.

Teaching kids not to be self-centered is near impossible depending on where they’re at developmentally.  However, if children this age are just given what they want and if parents cave to their selfish whims, this will affect them greatly as adults.  If they are never challenged to think of others before themselves they will create habits of selfishness that last a lifetime.  Naturally thinking about the least of these is tough.  Absolutely.  Our sinful nature says “but I want…”  But I get excited when I hear stories like these because as frustrating as it is for the parents, they are teaching extremely valuable lessons.  They are teaching that it isn’t about what I want, it’s about loving and caring for others.  It is about taking the focus off of ourselves.

Sure there are things that we want.  And we are blessed to be able to give gifts to our children.  But teach them to look beyond themselves. To give back.  To do something for others.  To actually give as God has given to us.

So here are a few ideas to help you guide your children’s thinking beyond themselves:

1. Talk about it.  If it’s not on your mind, it won’t be on theirs.  As much as we want our kids to be better than we are… they are following in your footsteps.

2. Encourage your kids to make gifts for others.  To really think about what someone would like and why.

3. Write letters to your sponsor children.  Make them a card.  Pray for them.  Discuss what their Christmas might be like.  If you packed a shoebox pray regularly for the child(ren) that will receive them.

4. Do an advent wreath or calendar.  (I’m not talking about the Disney chocolate ones… but something Christ focused)

5.  Limit the number of gifts, cut or limit your spending and/or buy gifts through the World Vision Catalogue (or Food for the Hungry etc)

6. Subscribe your kids to magazines such as Compassion Explorer (it’s free!) that get your kids thinking about other children around the world.  Compassion also has a great website for kids called Quest for Compassion.

7. Take some of the Christmas cookies you make with your kids to Hands On Ministries.

8. Attend the candlelight service, and the Sunday morning service on the 25th as a family.

9.  Encourage your kids to pick toys they have to give away.  Not just the run down broken ones, but quality toys.  Maybe even a favorite toy!

I have given you 9 ideas and I know it triggered more ideas in your own head!  Try it.  Depending on the age of your kids your new idea may not be overly popular.  However, think about the life lessons you are teaching your kids by doing these things.

First look at your own heart.  Where is your focus this Christmas?

So I realized that my job is to equip.  Maybe plant seeds for kids, but the family as a whole is more my concern.  My eyes were opened and I have realized how true this is.  I have seen many kids go through our programming over the last eight plus years and I would be able to tell you which families talk about and practice faith at home.  I have elementary aged kids who come from Christian homes who can discuss a bible story with me and know it.  I also have kids who come from Christian homes who cannot find the book of Genesis.  I wish I was joking here.  I am not.

Recently I have attended a couple of conferences.  One was specifically on family ministry and one was on leadership.  I have been challenged again.  It’s tough to get parents to do take home sheets or attend events.  It’s tough to have families willing to sit in church all together.  I would like to just give it up.  I’m tired of pushing against a wall.  Our culture is too busy for families to spend time together talking about God and definitely not time to worship together.

But God said to me… hold on a second.  I have asked you to advocate for kids.  I have asked you to lead at Cornerstone and I have not asked you to give up.  Family units are crumbling in our society.  Kids are forced to worry about their parents divorcing, whether or not they have the coolest, newest piece of technology, and to avoid being bullied at school.  Jesus rarely comes to mind.  Jesus is not at the forefront.  And I realized that it isn’t on their parents’ radar either.  That is why marriages are suffering, children are neglected and families break.  Grandparents, aunts & uncles are not exempt from this.  If parents aren’t stepping up, why aren’t you helping fill that void?  Your influence in kid’s lives is still far greater than my own.

So I challenge you all.  Not just parents.  Is Christ at the forefront of your life?  If not, fix it.  Get on your knees before God because the children in your life are suffering.  You are influencing their spiritual life and there is too much at stake for you to do nothing.  If sports and things are more important to the kids around you than Christ, then you need to be pointing them in a different direction.

My heart breaks for my own nieces & nephews. I pray for them, I invest in them (and should do so more!) because I want them to choose to follow Jesus.  I want them to live their lives for Him.  I don’t want them to waste life on meaningless things.

My heart breaks for the kids in this church.  When an elementary child from a Christian home says to a leader “I’m glad Eve ate that apple and sin came into the world. It makes the world more interesting” we have a problem.   This breaks me.   And I hope it breaks you too.

So this is what we are currently doing to equip and support you to raise your children for Christ:

-          Family services - Worshipping together as a family is an opportunity!  It doesn’t matter if your kids are getting loud – direct them and teach them.  Talk to them and share with them what is going on around them!  How confusing communion must be to a child unless you TELL them what it means. The first Sunday of each month will be a family service because your family is more important than any program we offer.

-          Gr. 5/6’s Volunteers in Training – we have just started this, this year.  We have noticed that kids drop off in this age bracket and so we are creating opportunities for these kids to take ownership of their church.  To begin to understand what it means to serve. Demonstrate this in your own life.  Preteens are so willing to help & serve and we are giving them the opportunity.

-          Family Resources – we have many books upstairs for families of all types (singles, grandparents, youth, young children etc.) to borrow.  We add to it frequently and are open to any topics or suggestions you may have.  Take advantage of this!  Spend time reading a book to stretch yourself as a spiritual leader in your home.

-          Child Dedications – these are a physical symbol of parents taking the role as spiritual leader in their home.  How we do these dedications is intentional in the vision for families at Cornerstone.

-          Take home sheets – Any programming under Gr. 6 has take home sheets.  If your child doesn’t have it – ask them to go get it!  Read them.  Talk to your kids about them.

-          Website – If you go to our church website there are a few website ideas for elementary kids.  They are a media driven generation and there are tons of great sites that will teach them biblical truths. There are also links I have placed for parents to access.

-          Midweek – our kids’ midweek program is for your kids to invite their friends.  It is an awesome opportunity for kids to learn how to take the good news to their friends by bringing them and building relationships with them in a God honoring environment.  This is not just another Christian program for your kids.  It’s intentional.

-          We strive to coincide Russ’s teaching with what the kids are being taught.  No it may not be the exact bible story, but look at the themes.   This is an ongoing process that we are moving towards.  If it doesn’t seem to coincide, still share what you learned with your kids and use their take home sheets to inform yourself about what they learned, because I know they will tell you that they learned ‘nothing.’

We are always taking steps to provide places and opportunities for families to worship together at home and at church.  Our church vision is to change the world and what a great example to the world to have families that are thriving and healthy. We are here to support & equip you and I hope you will contact me or other staff if you ever need guidance as a family.  We are learning too.  We are always stretching and growing ourselves and we ask that you join us as we seek to follow Christ in everything we do and to advocate for our kids’ spiritual well-being.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deut. 6:5-6

I have grown up in the church and it was humbling for me to just ‘see’ this now.  I was taught more about the sheer numbers that turned to Christ and there was little emphasis on what they actually did after they decided to follow Christ.  What I saw growing up was the fact that Christians were white, wealthy people who attended church on Sundays.  However, as I look closer into God’s word this is not at all what Christians should be.  Christ himself was not white nor was he wealthy.  He was born in a barn.  He was a carpenters son.  He was beaten and crucified and he was innocent.  Our own city is full of children who are abused and innocent.  We are seeing around the world many situations of adults and children who are being misused and abused. Christ relates with them wholeheartedly.  Jesus says in Matthew 25 ” I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”

So yes we need to meet together and worship together but we should be looking for ways to meet the needs of those in our neighborhoods, city and around the world.  Our culture is so ‘me’ focused.  We hoard our possessions.  We have alarm systems and insurance to keep our possessions safe.  But when we die and meet Christ he will ask what we did for Him – the least of these.  And He asks us to meet their needs because we are then loving Him.   Our possessions, safety and security will not matter.

I am daily being challenged in my own walk with God and  I have a growing desire and passion to do more at meeting the needs of those in my neighborhood, my city and my world.  We can’t fix it all but we can do something.  Ask God what he is asking of you – and follow Him by giving freely.

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to see the pain
Let the blessing You’ve poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change

I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I’m clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me

-Starfield “I will go”-

Thank you for your continued commitment to the protection of our children and youth.

As part of our protection plan we require annual training for abuse prevention.

We are pleased to offer on-line Winning Kids Inc. Plan to Protect training which you can do at your convenience.

PLEASE CONTACT JESSICA if you you want to take advantage of this online option and then you will not be required to attend a training session in the fall!

email: jessica@cornerstone-church.ca

I encourage you to keep Christ in your summer.  There are amazing small portable bibles (or you can download a version for your phone, ipad, playbook etc.)  Family is important yes, but Christ should be more so.  Don’t come back in the fall empty but filled.  Reading our bibles and spending time with God should not just be something we do in the winter when we are sitting around more.  Christ needs to be a part of our lives at all times, no matter what the season.

As adults we often try to control our own lives. We start to feel comfortable with life, things are going good so who really needs God. It begins with a thought. “I know this thing about this person and it’s pretty interesting. But they did tell me in confidence. Oh I could just share it with this one person”. So you share it. Well the person you shared it with was very interested. You then have a sense of power. It made you feel good. Really good in fact. So you tell another person. And another. And another. Before you know it you start to have feelings of stress. Anxiety. “Oh no what have I done? I hope that the person who shared this information with me doesn’t find out that everyone else knows”. You may go back to the people you told and ask them not to tell anyone. But it’s too late. And before you know it the person who shared in confidence finds out. And they are hurt. The trust is broken. You feel remorse. You feel insecure. You feel terrible.

With children in a classroom setting it starts with a thought. A child thinks it would be fun to run around the room. So they start to take little bursts of running. Oh that was fun. So they bring in someone else with them and start running around together. Oh wow this is really fun and we’re getting away with it. Before you know it all the kids are running around the room, chasing each other and having a ball. If it continues this way someone will get hurt. Then children feel remorse because they hurt someone. They feel terrible.

Did you ever hear from your mother ‘it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye’? There is so much we can learn from that statement. As much as we know we won’t lose an eye the point is sin or poor choices are fun until someone gets hurt. And someone always does. Usually it is you.

With children we need to be models and examples of self-control and discipline. They need to see this in our actions and our instruction to them. We should not be afraid to be firm and to set boundaries and expectations that can be followed through. ‘Running in a small space is not safe, we don’t want you to get hurt’. ‘Climbing on top of those chairs is not safe, we wouldn’t want you to fall.’ Children understand pain. They don’t want to get hurt but they don’t necessarily understand yet that all of their choices have consequences, good or bad.

Psalm 23 says “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his names sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Discipline and direction are comforting. It gives us security. It demonstrates love because you care about their well-being. You want the best for them. You care about them so much you don’t want to see them get hurt. It doesn’t mean you are not there when they do get hurt, but you will do everything you can to avoid that hurt.

Galatians 6 says “A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

The choices we make have a result whether good or bad. It is not always easy to make the right choice. It is not easy to constantly correct a crawling baby who is heading for the stairs. But if we don’t give up, if we don’t become weary in doing good the results will be rewarding. The child will learn and avoid getting hurt.

“Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it” Proverbs 22:6

If we train children to have as they wish, to have control of their own lives, then what are we teaching them about life? We are teaching them that they don’t need anyone but themselves to be happy. We all know that life is not like that. For a time we can ‘have as we wish’ but it always catches up with us. At some point we will get hurt and we will hurt others along the way.

A staff and a rod are the model Jesus gives us. We are to be examples of Christ to our children and the children we teach. Let us not become weary in doing good.

Don’t miss out on this opportunity -  It only comes around once a year!

Jessica Braun

jessica@cornerstone-church.ca

D6 family magazine from Jessica Braun on Vimeo.

d6family.com

go deeper – d6curriculum.com

splink – d6family.com/splink

This Sunday, November 7, is specifically Orphan Sunday.  Churches and organizations around North America recognize this Sunday, by making people aware of orphans around the world and then strive to do something about it.  Go to www.orphansunday.org to learn more about orphan Sunday and how you can be apart of it.

Focus on the Family also has fantastic resources if you are considering adoption or want to know how to support those who are adopting.  Go to www.icareaboutorphans.org to watch videos and learn more about adoption and what it can mean for you.

If you know someone who is adopting, has adopted or does foster care pray for them.  Find out how you can support them.  Educate yourself on what adoption is!  Consider adoption or foster care in your own home.  Through our own adoption experiences I have met many families of all ages and sizes who need support and they need you to understand what adoption is and what it is not.  There are many misunderstandings when it comes to adoption and I just encourage you to be someone who understands.

In our family resources we have a few books that talk about orphans and adoption.  I also have personal books I would love to lend to you!  Check it out and make yourself aware of adoption this month.